


The Empress

by swanfrost



Series: tarot (tokyo ghoul week) [4]
Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Drabble, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-26
Updated: 2015-02-26
Packaged: 2018-03-15 09:46:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3442547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/swanfrost/pseuds/swanfrost
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>in which touka learns to love herself, even if it's just a little</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Empress

**Day 4: Empress**

_favorite female character; beauty; nature_

Outside, the night, heavy and dangerous, wraps around the world. A full moon glows faintly behind a covering of dark clouds, straining to shine through its obstructions.

Just like me, Touka thinks to herself.

_(So pretty) the human girl whispers, eyes glowing in admiration._

She wraps her arms around herself, looking at her reflection in the mirror with downcast eyes, the reflection that stands in the mirror, staring back, stone cold and unflinching.

Touka doesn't really think she's beautiful, pretty even. Her eyes are too dark, too cold, her posture too demanding, too foreboding. Words tumble out of her mouth too easily, usually forceful, angry, fiery words that are products of churning emotions she can't seem to control.

Too brash, too rough, too weak, too strong; too much of this and not enough of that. She closes her eyes for a brief moment; tired.

 _But,_ she reminds herself upon opening them again, fixing her gaze on the figure in the mirror that stares right back at her,  _but beauty isn't perfection._

 _However, beauty couldn't be this either,_  she says out loud, into the pressing silence, laughing with a sad, twisted smile. Her eyes shift to black, her pupils spin red. From her shoulders, a glowing mass of throbbing red and purple and black spins threads of muscles and cells, faster and faster, until they form a single red wing that sprouts from her shoulder blade and curves like an eagle's. As she stands in the darkness of her apartment, they only source of light is the soft glow of her kagune, which casts pale red shadows over the floor.

Now, she stands with her hands clenched into fists that hang by her side, head raised, back straight, black and red ghoul eyes glaring defiantly. As she watches, in a pretend confidence, her kagune wing rises and dips; her reflection does the same.

"Is this…beauty?" Touka ventures, cracking the stifling silence of her room for a brief moment. After she speaks, the silence comes rushing in again, as if straining against invisible bonds. She traces the edge of her wing with a gentle finger, turning her head to look at the hunting organ that shoots from her back like another limb. A dangerous, fast, destructive limb, but certainly not beautiful.

Outside, the moon finally breaks through the thick clouds, and her room is washed in pale white light. Throwing shadows over her face, enveloping her wing-kagune in an almost godly light, it splashes over her. Her breath catches as her gaze swings back to the mirror; what she sees astounds her.

Black and red eyes, tinted with a soft shade of moonlight. Her hands, once calloused and cracking, are now smooth and sturdy, unafraid, almost. And, as her gaze travels to the ghoulish (hah, what irony) kagune that is stretched to full length, proud and looming, throbbing slightly, in time with her heartbeat; to her, it looks like a mark of pride and strength.

I look like a queen, she thinks in awe, standing up even straighter. Suddenly, she is aware of all the sounds and smells that she, as a ghoul, picks up, and for a moment, Touka merely stands and soaks in the world around her. Her eyes, sharp and cunning, flash dangerously as she takes a step back, confidence, a  _real_  confidence, filling her soul.

Once, twice, her kagune trembles dangerously, and as she looks into her reflection, Touka catches a glimpse of what others see of her.

Strength. (There stands Kaneki Ken, panting heavily, recovering from a roundhouse kick he'd just received. Then, he straightens, and looks her right in the eye.  _Again_ , he demands.)

Compassion. (She can feel Hinami's soft hand in hers, Hinami who has not yet spilled blood, Hinami who smiles easily in her presence.)

A worthy opponent. (Tsukiyama sneers at her weakness, but even she can smell the fear and excitement rolling off his kagune. Tsukiyama, who is so difficult to please.)

Sister. (An image of Ayato flashes in her mind, and her breath catches. Memories of him, of the little boy who trailed everywhere after his big sister, are engraved into her mind. She smiles softly.)

Beauty. (She is a queen, Touka decides, an empress. And she will rule.)

Outside, the moon continues to shine. The black clouds that once lingered are nowhere to be found.

**FIN**

**Author's Note:**

> a bit short, but as always, please tell me your thoughts!


End file.
